In spiritual warfare, joy, anger, and sadness can feel like constant obstacles. Yet in this conversation with Fr. Francis Ching, we discover a more accurate view: these emotions are often neutral. They become dangerous when they lead us into fear, darkness, isolation, and impulsive reactions. But when they are brought to God with honesty and discernment, they can become moments of healing, clarity, and conversion.
Joy, Anger, and Sadness: Not Always “Bad,” but Powerful
Fr. Francis begins by correcting a common mistake: emotions are not automatically sinful. A lack of joy can dispose us to fear and the feeling that we are far from God. Anger and sadness can darken everything and make the soul feel trapped. At the same time, these emotions can reveal what needs healing, what we are attached to, and what God is calling us to surrender.
St. Ignatius and Discernment: What Desolation Can Mean
Drawing from St. Ignatius of Loyola, Fr. Francis explains the experience of desolation: moments when everything feels gloomy, heavy, and when God seems distant. The key is that desolation does not always mean the same thing. Its meaning depends on the direction of your life.
- If you are moving toward God, discouragement often tries to stop you precisely because you are on the right path. In that case, the struggle can “confirm” your direction.
- If you are moving away from God, negative emotions can act like a warning light, calling you back before greater harm occurs.
This simple question becomes essential: Which direction am I going right now?
When Anger Turns Toxic: The Moment It Becomes Sinful
Fr. Francis makes an important distinction. The emotional surge of anger is not fully under our control. It is an indicator that something disturbed us. Anger can even be righteous, for example indignation at evil or injustice. But anger can also reveal pride or attachment, for example intense irritation when something happens to a possession we value too much.
The turning point is when we hold on to anger and allow it to drive us. In other words, anger becomes sinful when we consent to it, ride it, and react out of it. Scripture warns us not to let anger remain, because when it stays, it starts to govern us.
A Practical Strategy: Step Back, Wait, and Bring It to Jesus
Fr. Francis shares a practical method that is both spiritual and psychologically sound:
- Step back mentally and, if possible, physically.
- Refuse immediate reaction (do not text, do not explode, do not retaliate).
- Go to prayer and tell Jesus plainly what you feel.
- Wait for the emotion to pass so clarity can return.
He explains that emotions pass naturally. They become fixed only when we keep feeding them. When we cling to them, the feeling starts to possess us instead of the other way around. This is why he insists that strong emotions can feel “capturing,” and why the soul must refuse to grant them residence.
Joy Is a Choice: Gaudium, Not Just Feeling Happy
Fr. Francis insists that Christian joy is not simply elation or good mood. He points to St. Paul, who commands believers to rejoice even while imprisoned. This joy is deeper than circumstances.
He distinguishes between superficial cheerfulness and Gaudium, a stable interior joy that flows from:
- peace
- trust
- the certainty that I belong to God and am loved by Him
This is why joy can exist even during storms: sickness, loss, injustice, persecution, or the collapse of plans. Not because those sufferings are small, but because God is present in them, carrying the soul and working through them.
Why Lack of Joy Can Reveal Attachments
The conversation becomes very concrete. Fr. Francis notes how quickly we become angry when small comforts are interrupted: slow internet, blocked entertainment, disrupted routines. These reactions can expose what is controlling us. Sometimes the lack of joy is a warning sign that we are moving in the wrong direction or clinging too tightly to outcomes we demand “now,” “on my terms,” and “immediately.”
He encourages a deeper examination: we often ask God for a specific outcome, like recovering what we lost or immediate healing for a loved one, and we close ourselves to any other good God may want to accomplish through the trial. When we refuse any path except the one we chose, negative emotions intensify.
Conversion: The “40%” We Don’t Want God to Touch
Fr. Francis gives a striking image of conversion. A person may sincerely give God much of their life while still protecting a part that remains non-negotiable. A hidden “40%” can remain untouched: time, comfort, habits, coping patterns, attachments. The spiritual life then becomes a struggle of surrender, where the Lord continues inviting us to give more, not to punish us, but to free us.
Confession, Anger, and the Grace to Keep Struggling
When the conversation turns to confession, Fr. Francis underlines both grace and responsibility. Confession helps heal and restore, but we must also learn practical restraint: block impulsive reactions, apologize when we fail, and refuse to consent to anger. He emphasizes the word struggle repeatedly: some battles are overcome quickly, others remain lifelong. But it is wrong to say there is nothing we can do. God gives grace to fight, even when the fight lasts.
Hope for Repeated Confessions: God’s Mercy Is Greater Than Sin
Fr. Francis confronts a common fear: “I keep falling, so I’m ashamed to return to confession.” He responds with strong clarity: that logic is like refusing the hospital because you might be wounded again. Another fear is worse: believing God cannot forgive. He calls this pride, as if one’s sin were greater than God’s mercy.
He points to the Gospel’s repeated images of mercy and insists that confession is the safest place for sinners. It is not humiliation for its own sake, but trust that honors God.
A Daily Spiritual Habit: Bring Your Emotions to God Before the Day Ends
As a practical recommendation, Fr. Francis urges people not to let anger, sadness, and frustration fester. Before the end of the day, sit with the Lord and tell Him exactly what you feel. Pray as you are. If you are angry, pray like an angry person. If you are sad, pray like a sad person. God can handle it.
The key is to speak honestly without discarding God, but with faith and trust: “Lord, reveal to me what you are doing.” Over time, clarity comes, and Fr. Francis encourages writing down what you learn, because these moments become spiritual formation.
